Core Training

Softball Parent Coaches: Not the Best Scenario

Softball Parent Coaches

Softball Parent Coaches can be great, not so great and down right bad. This issue is not unique to softball nor is the debate between parent coaches and paid coaches. Softball though is what we do and where we will focus this discussion.

Volunteers in youth sports are needed and welcomed especially at the lower levels and help mitigate expenses keeping the cost for participation lower. Parents being involved with their children is rarely a bad thing. Most parents that I have run across over the years that volunteer their time as a youth coach have good intentions are mindful of all the players. Some do it because the organization needs the help, others because they have the knowledge to share with young developing players. With that said, coaching your children is not the best of ideas.

Most experts in coaching would agree that parents should not coach their own children. The are numerous reasons for this and essentially creates a no-win situation for you, the parent and the players. Either the coach is perceived as playing favorites with their daughter and her friends or in some cases being too hard on their own kids. Imagine what it feels like being scolded by your parent in front of the entire team? Is that a memory you want your children to have? Or other kids who feel as though there is no fairness in the process due to favoritism. Will that young player have a positive experience in the sport and will that impact their desire to play in the future? It will have an impact on them on some level and when people feel as if there is not fairness, meaning all players have an equal opportunity to succeed, that player most likely loses interest.

First and foremost, you (the parent) are your kids boss at home day and night, do you really need to be their boss at the ballpark as well? Probably not. It is their time to develop in the game and learn to learn from others. Many parent coaches tend to think they know more than they probably do. That it not a criticism of those who do coach, but rather an observation based on years of watching the game. It is also likely that many parent coaches do not even realize they may be doing certain things such as showing favoritism. That is a problem also.

Although coaching your own children may not be the best, at times it may be unavoidable. Often, especially at the lower ages, there may not be a team unless a parent steps up and fills the coaching role. If that is the case, make sure you are cognizant of all the pitfalls. Ask a fellow parent to observe practice and offer you constructive criticism to assure your are creating a healthy environment for all the players. That does not mean every other parent is correct, but it can help you become aware if things are being perceived differently than you may think.

The issue is that parent coaches in softball tend to create “Daddy Clubs”. Meaning the focus all their energy is only on their daughters and more for their own personal desire to make their daughters better, not because of what the player actually wants. This also creates a false sense of accomplishment which can prevent development. If a player is, or feels entitled, it can have an adverse affect on their work ethic and willingness to learn. What happens when that player moves on and the safety net of the “Dads Club” is not longer there?

We applaud volunteers and all the hard working parents who work to make the sport a great one. With that said keep in mind the pro’s and con’s to being a parent coach.

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