Softball Stories: The Best I’ve Ever Been by Kaytee Keefe
I know that I have worth off the softball field. I know that as a person, I am not defined by my playing time, my performance, or my stats. However, I am defined by my attendance, my effort, my attitude, and my ability to be a good teammate. When things aren’t going your way, it’s easy to fall apart; it’s easy to have a bad attitude and it’s easy to stop working hard because you can’t imagine a day in which it’s going to be any better. What’s not easy is still showing up every day and giving it all you’ve got. It’s not easy to fake a smile when you’re hurting, or to take reps that you know aren’t going to make a difference in your playing time. But in the end, do you really want to say that you took the easy way out?
As my softball career comes to an end, I’m struggling with balancing my worth. I’ve never completely forgotten that I have worth outside of softball, but I have placed too much of my worth in the wrong places. It hits me more and more each day that the end is near, and because of that, I feel extra pressure to get more playing time and to improve my performance. I don’t want to look back at my senior year and see that I only had 20 at-bats and a .150 batting average; I want to go out at my peak, at the very best that I ever was. Doesn’t everyone? I’ve thought about it over and over again, each time more upsetting than the last, but eventually it taught me a valuable lesson: Don’t forget your worth.
So what you only got 20 at bats. If you made the most of them, there’s nothing to regret. So what those extra reps didn’t get you on the field. You still took them, didn’t you? Those 20 at-bats and all those reps didn’t contribute to my worth on the softball field, but they did contribute to my worth off the softball field. They spoke of my character. I made the most of each opportunity, despite my lack of success. I played each game like it was my last, just in case it was. I always stood back up after getting knocked down. I did not stop fighting.
There were many times in which I wanted to take the easy way out. There were times when I pouted, cried, wanted to throw my fist through a wall. There were times when I simply broke down. But there were more times in which I remained positive and worked hard. I think that’s what’s most important, that the positivity outweighs the negativity. You’re going to break down, that’s normal, but you can’t let the breakdowns keep you down. I’m not perfect; I have never been and I never will be. But what makes me successful in the end is my ability to overcome adversity.
I’m guilty of getting caught up in the stats and the newspaper articles, the fun things, the things that you want to tell everyone. You want to brag about your .500 batting average and the article that was written about you in the county newspaper. But sooner or later, the stats get erased and the newspapers get thrown away, and all that remains is the person that you are. So who are you going to be?
In the moment, so many things seem like they matter when they truly don’t. It’s hard to see it in that moment, though. You only see it when it’s someday down the road and you’re looking back at it. And that road isn’t straight or flat. It has bumps, it has curves, and it gets dark sometimes. But once you’ve driven to a certain point, you don’t see the bumps or the curves or the darkness when you look back. You don’t see the stats, you see how far you’ve come.
There’s a quote that I’ve seen a million times but never appreciated until recently: “People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.” This quote can be interpreted so many ways and is applicable to everyone, no matter the situation.
What’s important to me is my love for the game of softball. Soon, when it’s all said and done and I’m looking at it from the other side, I’m not going to look at the stats from my senior year. I’m not going to look at the stats from any year, not at the win-loss records, and not the number of at bats or innings played. But I am going to look at the way it made me feel. I’m going to remember how the seams felt when I gripped the ball, how the dirt felt under my cleats, how my heart raced every time I approached the plate, how sweet it felt when the ball made solid contact with the bat, the high-fives and handshakes, the sounds, the sights, and everything in between. I will remember the teammates, the coaches, and the young players I worked with. I will remember all the adrenaline and the heartbreak that the game has to offer. I’m going to remember all of these little things that make up the game of softball.
Above all, I will remember the way this game shaped me into the person I am today through every lesson it taught me; The most important things that I learned had nothing to do with my swing or fielding a ground ball. While I am very proud of my accomplishments throughout my career, I am far more proud of who I’ve become from the defeats. I am a better person because of this game. I know my worth in life because this game taught it to me. I love this game wholeheartedly, and I am going to miss this game entirely, but I know that it is always going to be with me. It will transcend to all parts of my life in everything that I do.
So it turns out I am ending my career at my peak because I am the best I have ever been.
